I am not allowed to go to school by my family

I was born in 2k4, passed the graduation exam, I am currently at home, 

I am not allowed to go to school by my family and will not let me go to any vocational training just for the reason: my family looks at my grades and my quiet and often cry and evaluate "you are useless, what can you do when people curse you when you cry", 

these are the words that come from the mouth of my father, he is a patriarch, conservative, less interested in family, fun for him is very important, he also has many extramarital affairs outside. It's true that I have a reason to say that I cry a little bit: when I was 13 years old, when I started puberty, 

I was very sensitive, there were curses from my grandfather that made me feel like I was dumbfounded: "You are a child. useless, like your sister who is good at studying and clever, stupid people like you only go to work to earn money", etc.... there are many words like knives that I can't tell, I heard being scolded at that time I feel like my heart is torn and I feel very hurt, I don't want to share it with my family anymore, especially my dad. 

Maybe because of the times when I couldn't hold back my tears at his heavy insults that I was judged as lowly and weak? Now I become calloused every time my father curses me like that, I don't feel pain anymore, I don't cry in front of him anymore. 

Many times I have a stupid intention: to run away from home. My father forced me to stay at home until I got married, didn't let me work, didn't let me learn anything more. I really can't accept that guys.. I really want to go but thinking about it, 

I don't even have a penny in hand, how can I leave the house. I can't live with a family that has a patriarchal, promiscuous father, and neither can my mother: conservative, antiquated, negative thinking that won't let me go to work, make me stay at home forever That's it. 

18 years of living in the scene of witnessing domestic violence, my children are very sad.. even though I know it's more terrifying to be born, but what I get to earn, I get to decide my life. I am also willing to listen to advice from everyone.. thank you everyone for reading my mind.

Have I ever been single?

Alone, waiting for the bus, wandering alone among the busy people. Night comes, alone, one room, one phone, a messy confide that doesn't know who to confide in... During the day, Hanoi turns us around like a pinwheel before the wind, but when sunset comes, a child's strong instincts lost person. Staring at the flow of people, they greeted each other at the end of work, hovered around West Lake to enjoy the wind, eat ice cream, take simple photos that I found strangely beautiful. Is it because we are longing for that happiness….

At what stage of love is the most ripe? What do you think?

It was a time in high school, innocent, innocent, dating on the balcony at recess, or sneaking parents waiting for each other to go to school in the alley,... That love was not too "bug" nor mature. , it is a valuable memory that not everyone has the opportunity to experience. No matter what the relationship is like, whether that friend is still hand in hand with him or not, his youth was very beautiful.

University love, when we were already adult citizens according to the law, had many new relationships, came out to find our own future. Not as lively as in high school anymore, not angry and angry, preferring quiet to noisy. Sometimes, two people don't need to say anything, just looking at each other is enough to know what both sides want. During the day, each person has a different workflow, realizing that love, understanding, and respect are not enough to make this relationship permanent. Finances and status also determine whether this friend will watch the sunset with us at the age of 90 in front of the sea or not, hand in hand to celebrate a long life... Love now doesn't have to look at each other all day. , but just messages to encourage each other to try, invite each other to hang out in Hanoi, eat sidewalk food, care, ask parents on both sides, ..

Each age has its own taste of love, high school is the taste of cotton candy, sweet, but also fragile. Going to university, or going to work, is love between men and women, comradeship, human love. Love them not because of appearance, career, .... come together with sincerity, comfort, respect. You should remember, the more beautiful the flower, the easier it is to fade, the primrose does not bloom forever, it only flashes at night, so is the sunflower, dawn, flowers bloom. The eye is always attracted to the beauty, but with love let the heart speak, are two souls really in sync?

When you understand what I write, understand you, soon, that person will appear.